she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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