I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
