i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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