Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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