ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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