She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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