i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
