great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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