I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Randomize
