drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
