I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
