I would go down on you faster than GM stock
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
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