32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
