bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
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Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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