Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need a beard to bite.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
