Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize