worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize