I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
