I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
