She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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