my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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