We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
