i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
