i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Someone signed my nipple.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
