The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
