Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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