im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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