she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
