Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
