dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
