Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
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Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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