A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
