K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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