Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
