are you still at the devil's house?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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