Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
