The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
