He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize