PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
