There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's the barista slut.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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