I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
