he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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