Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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