This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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