he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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