yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
