I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you mean i was at the winter classic?
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning