I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it