Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your cock deserves a montage
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO