I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
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Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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