I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
