I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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