We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
