So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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