So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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