I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
