I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Are we still banned from the library?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
