stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
