I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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