he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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