SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
