6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just gift wrapped bread.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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