I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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