i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
