I love black thongs
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
