before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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