so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
